Thursday, February 11, 2010

Out Of My Teens

I was never a teenager in my teens!

By teenager I meant, no tantrums, no late-nights, no ego clashes, no thick-headedness. Instead I was an obedient bookworm with not much of a social life, not a thing for partying, no booze, no smoking, ultra-philosophical, fashion-disinterested... No wonder my mother was so happy!

Little did she guess that I'll start behaving like a teenager when I'd turn twenty. And that it'll be such an intense phenomenon, that will show absolutely no signs of abating!

Being a teenager had always seemed too over-hyped to me. I used to enjoy less and introspect more. But that was me, and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. My teenage days was the time when I really grew up.

A beautiful world slowing started showing cracks and the bright colors started to fade. it was much like as if my vision was improving, new glasses for my myopic eyes. and I wished (then) that I could have held on to my naivety. And I turned a cynic.

A cynic with no experiences how to deal with the big and ugly world. Even with all my anti-teenager attributes, I created enough trouble for myself, that if I had had the chance to correct it I would. But never would I give up all that I learnt from them. I guess, what  I would have wanted to be is smarter rather than gullible, understanding than believing blindly, kind rather than self-sacrificing.

I discovered human minds and emotions, understood psychology because I spared them a thought. And every bit was hard-earned, some from my mistakes and some from others'.

But slowly at the end of my teens, when I could see through most facades, the hazy and scratched glass to look at the world, i found the real beauty. A beauty beyond the obvious black and dirty and hurtful.

Childhood is the period of a life that gives shape to the dreams of a lifetime. We either spend our lives living up to them, or living down the miseries of them. Teenage years I believe, gives us strength and moulds us the way we will be for the rest of our lives. As the most impressionable years with developing ideology and understanding, we shape who we will be in our teens.

My teens brought me knowledge, illumination and faith. I looked at losses and sadness so closely that I understood happiness. I experienced betrayals (like everyone else) to understand the value of relationships. I saw destruction and mayhem to believe in miracles. I found power in me to believe that you are God. I discovered hope, optimism and life.

I learned to forgive. I learned to commend for one's goodness. I learned not to hate. I learned to believe, hope and be. I became the idealist I'm today.

And now, I have a lot of fun throwing tantrums. Being out till late nights with Mum calling me repeatedly on phone. Bunked classes in Masters to chill in the canteen (I'd never gone to canteens in my Bachelors!), be pig-headed on purpose, be overly sentimental, fight with my Mum-Dad over the most petty things, with my sister as to who will have that blue dress. And I enjoy it all. Totally.

ARJuna is my most favorite teenage blogger. Whose birthday it is today. In whose honor I wrote this sappy post. All i know about him is through the words he writes in the pages of his blog and I feel, he is one of the most intense, mature and thinking teenage I've met. I smile when I think, with my limited experience in this world, ARJuna is going to be one person who will be completely different from everyone else as he steps in to claim his place in this world.

I wish I could write a funny post or an absolutely engaging one. But all I could come up with was the not-so-interesting truth of my life. And I believe this post can have no better place than ARJuna's blog, not even in mine.

Happy Birthday, ARJuna!!

Even though you are turning twenty today, be a teenager forever!


Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

last line hits the mark, be teenager forever....:D

its not bad that u did not realize your teens, better late than never...:D

Guria said...

Sid, did u read the whole post? It seems a recurring problem with my writing! I was not a teenager in my teens, I'm one now! :D

Shilpa Garg said...

LOL at your comment, Guria!! I know what you mean!! :D

Wonderful post! I felt, as if it was the story of my teen age! Though I didn't do all the teeny tantrums, et all even in my Masters but am doing now!! :D

Neha said...

wish you a very happy birthday Arjuna..:)

@ G, I have had a similar teenage like you..though I got married at the early age, but I throw more tantrums than you have mentioned here post marriage..I am now one pampered married brat :D amazing post..

@ Siddy the wuu huu kiddy, kyu pange leta hai ye scientist se? tera to science bhi stupidity wala hai re :P :D